Dear friends, this is a longer letter than we usually send. It will not lend itself to being read among a series of emails. So, if you decide to read it, try carving out some time alone, in quiet, with coffee or whatever morning comfort you choose. That would honor me and this more personal letter and I thank you.
This week I turned 70. That seems big in the scheme of things. Psalm 90, in the older text of Scripture, says this:
The days of our years are three score and ten;
And if by reason of strength they become fourscore years,
Yet is their strength labor and sorrow;
For it is soon cut off, and we fly away. (KJV 1900).
Whatever the extension by grace beyond this point, we are able by that same grace to call today "today" and to celebrate, as children, the presence of the Kingdom as we come unto Him this very day. I look forward to this next decade or so, which in the strength of labor and sorrow I may come to know more fully the strength of love, vitality and joy. Many think this to be an illusion to assuage the inevitability that there is a "cut off" and I do believe that at every age, maybe every day, we are fighting the inevitability of death in unconscious fidelity to its truth. We should speak more openly of it, I think, precisely because there is so much of God in it for those who believe. There the ordinariness of life becomes the treasure of a moment, a gesture, a physical touch that is stored in the eternal moment of the soul.
Increasingly then, and I do not defend it, I am unwilling or unable to fit into the impress of time on someone else's schedule of living life in the way of busyness. It is harder for me to celebrate in that space or experience celebration and connection. Thus, I resist it, in futility, I suppose, and at some loss. Nevertheless, with alacrity and untroubled embrace, I enter solitude in exchange. This may be an advantage of age where creating meaningful space becomes an economy more precious than gold. Poetry, it seems, does this in the sparest way possible as does contemplative prayer. This simplicity is also one of the essences of the mystery and beauty of the Eucharist. “This is.” "Eat this." "Do this." Simple obedience as Jesus invites us into the spaciousness of real food.
Now the truth of all life fully lived and eternal is that there is a merger taking place, moment by moment, into God which is an extraordinary desire for union with God and by God that can grow in our awareness now. It can intersect at points where the air grows thin and there is the "intimation of immortality" of which the poet speaks. I want to share one of these in my life, as clearly as I can in writing, which falls short of communicating in the ministry of presence, which falls short of the actual experience. However, when I shared this at our recent Verbena gathering there was hardly a dry eye in the crowded room, man or woman, as the Spirit communicated the reality reproduced, even if diminished in time. It is both a personal experience of what I hope is one measure of my final destiny of merger, and some deposit and encouragement along that way. It also seems to carry wider implications, a reach beyond my small self. Imagination is essential to the engagement of Reality and yet it too can be overtaken by Reality itself.
Encounter at Magdala
Laurie and I were dispatched to Israel in May. There were many points of conviction preceding the trip, some of which I chronicled in a previous Highway letter but did not realize at the time that they were points leading us to Israel. Although this was the most transformational trip we have ever taken and many stories can be told, especially of Jerusalem, this one involves Galilee and continues to live, breathe and inform like no other.
About a week into our trip, with Ashley Medford, we set out for Jerusalem with our sights set on the Sea of Galilee. Ashley's presence in Jerusalem for the past two years was one of our convicting points, as she is a member of the Verbena intercessory team and had prayed with me many years before. She was an extraordinary host and guide for our time. When we reached our destination, we found the view from the guesthouse to overlook the Sea of Galilee. It immediately brought to life, without the actual visits yet, all the gospel accounts of Jesus in and around this geography of place.
The first evening there, I was sitting on the guesthouse veranda overlooking the sea when I heard a chair pulled up roughly behind me. When I turned, I encountered a young woman whom I had no doubt wanted to encounter me, so we began to chat. She was, and is, a young Israeli, 25, who was in the finishing stretch of a hike through the wilderness from Tel Aviv to the sea. She had completed her military service and I am told many young Israelis wander about in travel after that time. Her name is Shir. The next morning I introduced her to Laurie and Ashley and she ended up in our car spending the whole day visiting the various ‘Jesus connection’ sites around the sea.
Eventually we came to Magdala the home territory of Mary of Magdala or Mary Magdalene, a young woman Jesus set free from seven demonic spirits and who became one of his most devoted followers. There we met Hermana Viljoen, a South African woman who had befriended Ashley in Jerusalem and who had been living and working in Israel for a few years. Years before our meeting she had become involved in the vision and work of a Catholic priest, Father John (Juan Maria Solano, a member of the Catholic order of the Legionnaires for Christ) who had been assigned by the Vatican to direct the work of the Notre Dame Pontifical Institute in Jerusalem. Hermana wrote and published a book chronicling Father John's passion and realization of a ministry site to women in Magdala, entitled “Magdala, God Really Loves Women”.
What I will say for our purposes is this: what this priest has done to establish this site on the sea is more than extraordinary - it is miraculous. It took millions to purchase the site and work through the legal tangles and multiple ownerships involved in putting together any parcel of land anywhere in Israel but particularly right on the shores of the sea of Galilee. And before even a spade of earth can be turned of the soil, the government sends a team to examine the site for antiquities. The parcel, to the shock of Father John, housed a first century synagogue, just below the surface and the remains of a town. Rarest of finds in Israel is a first century synagogue and there it was. Seemingly an impediment to the vision, this hidden treasure became a gathering place for people from around the world to participate in the excavation and preservation of the site. Once the excavation was complete, Father John was permitted to proceed with his plan to build a Spirituality Center on the site as a ministry to women. He oversaw the building of a beautiful structure combining modern, byzantine and first century synagogue motifs and architecture. One end of the facility looks out to the sea from an altar in the shape of a first century fishing boat. He named the facility "Duc in Altum" which means, "Put out into the Deep", Jesus' words to his disciples following their futile night of fishing. Father John has plans to build a hosting center and lodging for pilgrims, all underway now and carefully without disturbing the first century site, which without a doubt Jesus frequented during his time in Magdala.
Back to our sojourn and our personal encounter at Duc in Altum. Hermana met us at the temporary intake center at the site. The synagogue excavation stretched out before us with the Spirituality Center in the background facing the sea. We sat down and began to talk. As I am prone to do, I asked Hermana to tell me some of her struggles and weaknesses. She is such a visionary and strong presence in her own right that I was curious. She did not hesitate and shared with me. She then returned the question. Immediately I gave my answers through reference to the Enneagram, a time honored spiritual direction tool traceable back to the desert fathers. My friend, Rob McKinnon, an executive coach, had administered the test a couple years ago and interpreted the results. I cannot go into much detail here about but it opened up a way for me to see my journey going forward and retrospectively. I shared with Hermana that I tested as an eight on the scale, a powerful presence but unhealed operating out of challenge, the need to be right and opposition. The healing eight is moving toward transformation in mercy, a two on the scale. I had been focused on this path for some time now and I told her of praying before this trip that I would encounter somehow more of the reality of mercy. I was also aware that Pope Francis had declared the whole of 2016 as the Year of Mercy.
From that conversation the five women and myself proceeded straight to the Center. As we entered the structure, Hermana immediately led us down the stairs into the expansiveness of a below ground chamber. I did not know until later that this space is designated the Encounter Chapel. As you enter the Chapel, you face a large wall that is covered by a painting that confronts one as soon as you step into the chamber. It captures, in lifelike size, the sandaled feet of many men with the artist’s point of view topping out no higher than the beginning of the calf. The hem of a robe touches the top of one sandaled foot guarded by all the others like trees in a forest. A hand with finger extended just above and parallel to the ground emerges from the cuff of a garment. The finger, reaching for the hem above the sandaled foot, through the forest of legs and feet, meets a point of bright and stunning light, enveloping the hem corner and the finger. We identified the scene as that of the hemorrhaging woman reaching out in desperation to touch the hem of Jesus' robe and being healed as the power went out. Her uncleanness as designated by law, the significance of the hem and her courage in identifying herself upon risk of death are all caught up in this scene. It also stunned me as I realized that the story of this woman is always part of the teaching in an intensive.
We went back up the stairs to the atrium. Hermana spoke of the eight columns, six of which memorialize specific women mentioned in the gospels who were close to Jesus. Of the remaining two, one was dedicated to other unnamed women around Jesus, and one to all the women through the ages who love and follow Jesus. I interrupted and said, "I think we need to pray now.” Hermana said immediately, "Okay, lets move over here." I said, "No, I think we need to go back downstairs to the chamber below" and I burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably and heading that way. Down we went.
We seated ourselves along the stone surface encircling and attached to the walls of the room. Our decided place was to the left of the painting. I was seated closest to the painting. Shir was at the far end, Laurie next and then Hermana's assistant, then Ashley, then me. Hermana took her seat on the floor facing us. I was dissolved in tears, aware, but literally taken over. I could not stop.
Hermana started to speak, then stopped and said, "Trip, I think" and before she could go on I blurted out: "I know what you are going to say and ask and I will do it." Through the deluge, I began to confess sin against women to the women gathered round there, who were also standing in for all women. I confessed my sin and the sin of man as I wept. I apologized. "I am so sorry," I said. This took several minutes. I was aware that I was not formulating the words. They just came. Then that stopped, but not the tears, and the words moved directly into a father's blessing of them as daughters and as the beautiful creation that each one of them is. The blessing flowed out and over them. Hermana asked Ashley to respond which she was, at that point, unable to do. There was a gap of time and I felt lost in tears. Laurie got up from the other end, came around, knelt before me and said, “Trip, I forgive you and men.” This released me and the weeping stopped.
Well, we were all transfixed and stunned by the encounter. Hermana asked if anyone wanted to pray or say anything and Ashley responded to the father's blessing. Then I spotted Shir. What could she be thinking? I asked her if she wanted to pray or make a comment. She paused and then said, "Do you mean you can pray whatever you are feeling? We have these written prayers. We pray them and it is done." Hermana responded to her in a beautiful and respectful way. When we dropped her back at the guesthouse on our way back to Jerusalem, she hugged each one of us, warmly. I told her that she was one of my daughters and must come visit us in the States. Then, we journeyed on to Jerusalem.
I will let all this speak for itself except for the part that pertains to me. I had expressed a desire to know mercy, to be closer to mercy, to be transformed into mercy and Mercy literally took me over and expressed itself. I became one with Mercy, one with God in mercy, for a time. The incarnation of Mercy. Later, maybe, I will be in Mercy forever, after labor and sorrow have fully run their course to the cut off. To me, God has met me in his mercy in a perfect intersect with my life of prayer one-on-one with the broken-hearted for 20 years. Especially for those times, he seemed to be saying that his mercy lives in me and is present soul-to-soul. He told me by this experience in Magdala what my deep heart is, even though I have lots of spots for cleansing. He was and is saying that Father John's heart and mine are one and that we met there in the center of God's heart, Jesus. He is saying “I will keep showing you your deep heart made in My image that fuels your one-on-one encounters, whether man or woman, and that fuels the expansion of the vision of Verbena, a passion for the healing of the whole body, the Church. Gaze fully into My face of Mercy with the inner eye and I will gaze back at you. I am going to keep changing you and others from one form of glory to the next until you fully confront Mercy face to face, when I bring you fully into Me.” Let this lead in mystery, vision and obedience.
When we returned to Greensboro, we heard from Ashley. She had met with her friend, Lisa. Lisa ministers through Springs of Hope and is currently engaged in Iraq to meet, welcome, house and help with the healing of the Yezidi women. We had an opportunity to lunch with Lisa before we went to Galilee. The Yezidi sect has been targeted by ISIS and women have been brutalized, emotionally, physically and sexually. When Ashley told Lisa of our encounter at Magdala they both wept. Lisa asked Ashley if I would write up something in that same confessional and father's blessing that she could translate into Kurdish and hand to the women as they emerged. Below this letter is a copy of that blessing.
Then, just a week ago, I was scheduled to lead a weekend Men's retreat with my good friend Steve Lynam, at Tom and Priscilla Flory's beautiful property amidst the Blue Ridge in Virginia. On the Wednesday before the retreat Priscilla called to tell me that she had received an email forwarded by a woman friend in Lynchburg. This friend’s husband was coming to the retreat and both they and the Florys are deeply connected with Israel. Priscilla related that as she was perusing this forwarded e-mail, she stumbled across my name. It contained and discussed my letter to the Yezidi women.
Saturday night of the retreat, I invited Priscilla to join us men around the campfire. I told the story of Magdala and she told the story of it coming all the way back to her and meeting us here. She then, briefly, told her story of wounding by men and that in her healing she had found many brothers. Then she got up, stood before each man, hugged them, blessed them and called them precious.
Not by power, not by might but by my Spirit, sayeth the Lord.
Blessings,
Trip and Laurie
A Prayer of Confession & Blessing
Women of the Yezidi. My eyes are full of tears and my sobbing is out of my control, so that I can say from the depths of my soul these things to you. I stand in for all men to say to you that I am so sorry for the way you have been abused, hurt, ignored and frightened by men. I am sorry and apologize for all physical and emotional violence against you and your personhood. I am so sorry that you have been treated this way and for the way it brought great damage to you as a person, as a woman. I renounce the spirit of misogyny in these actions against you and I apologize for it. I am deeply sorry. I am sorry your voice has not been heard. I am sorry it has been stifled and must be rediscovered all over again as you begin to heal in body, mind, soul and spirit. I grieve on your behalf and we would like to help you heal.
Now, too, I bless you as a father blesses a daughter. You are precious. You are beautiful inside and out. You are a special and unique creation that now, in freedom and safety, can begin to open again like a flower stretching to open to the sun, bringing a special fragrance into the world as you walk in this blessing. Blessed daughters, rise and live. May the fullness of this father's blessing take root in you from the inside and may it also pour out over you and on you, settling like the dew. As you glisten inside and out in the beauty of the creation that you are, may you bring hope as the blessing pours out of you to others.